I'm moving back into my parents' house this Friday.  I've already done a good bit of the box work and so on Friday we're going to rent a truck to get all of the furniture.  All of the furniture, along with most of my worldly possessions will not be going into a room at my parents' house, but into a storage unit.  The house is being kept at a standard that my possessions do not meet and anything not at the standard will be shipped across town to be put in a facility, this includes my parent's possessions (in the basement).  It will be a strange experience to say the least.  As the group dissolves and members spread apart, I find myself both clinging to inanimate objects and turning inward.  As the inanimate objects are loosed from my grip, it will be another shift in the psychological paradigm.  I will be living in what is essentially a model home, attempting to maintain it as if it were a model home.  This means I will attempt to leave no trace of my existence anywhere I go in the house, whether that be scent, physical disruption of space, or the possession of objects that are not widely marketable.  I know that I'm making too much of this, but at its core, it is a bizarre idea and will be an even more bizarre practice.

This will likely mean that I will spend very little time at the house this summer.  The house is going on the market soon and I will ideally be moving to Baltimore in the Johns Hopkins area this fall.  Very recently my plans surrounding this move have become obsolete because the conditions on which they were based have changed.  I was going to live with Maddie and Travis, but one of them (maybe both) is dropping out of Towson and moving to New York to pursue the acting career that he shelved when leaving for college in the first place.  Unable to nail down a commitment from either of them about moving in, I have been in search of other potential roommates, but this has only served to shine a spotlight on how limited my community here really is.  While I know that I have done little to positively affect this, I feel at a loss for options as I very slowly become attached to people and very painfully lose them.  This combination of slow adoption and disabling losses has made the regeneration of my community an incredibly slow one, so slow that it often feels as if it is continuing to retract rather than expand.  

Essentially, my mom (as soon as she can find a job) will follow my dad to Chicago where he has been living alone for months, I will be moving out of Frederick semi-permanently as a result, and my main Towson crew is moving to New York.
On the other end of it, my brother is moving back to Maryland and will likely live in the greater DC area, but I only saw him four or five times a year when he lived in CP so we'll see how that goes.

A lot is up in the air and I don't trust what is "settled" on the ground.  It is a swirling mass that I'm supposed to turn into stability while raising my GPA to get me off my scholarship probation and finding a job to replenish my hugely diminished savings.  Somehow I am ultimately responsible for where this whirlwind decides to let me down.


 

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